 |
||||||
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
Who Am I To Judge?
It was an interesting bit of news to wake up to this morning... R.I.H. Jerry Falwell
If our universe was like the DC or Marvel Universes, where heroes and villains roamed the earth, constantly doing battle over the fate of the world, blurring the lines between Right and Wrong in order to stand for the truth of Good and Evil... | ||||||
It's been just a little over a year since I've seen a movie in an honest-to-goodness Movie Theater. In fact, the last time I "went to the movies" was to see Thank You For Smoking in Chicago. That was a hell of a night.
I've met a handful of people that actually don't see any difference between seeing a movie in the theater or watching it on a TV at home. I choose not to associate with these people. Be it for a play or a movie, the experience of having the entire world around you turned down or blocked out so the Fantasy fold itself all around you with larger-than-live sights and sounds...these are the rare occasions that I can actually allow myself to feel human. A home theater, no matter how comfortable, can't achieve that.
There was a time in my youth when I had told myself that if I were to have a religion, the theater would be my Church. When I learned the history of the evolution of the theater, beginning (to the best of our knowledge) with the Greek orator, Thespis, giving tribute to Dionysus...Well, I considered that life as a Dionysian Acolyte couldn't be a bad one. After all, Dionysus was the god of Grapes, Wine, Fertility...the blesser of the harvest and so on. The dude was all about Sex And Celebration, and an excess of both. There are worse gods in this world to pay tribute to.
For the last year, I've been avoiding the movie theater. Partly because, being in China, it's a bit of a hit-or-miss on weather or not the movie I paid to view is an actual studio commissioned print, or if it's an infamous Chinese bootleg complete with murmurs from the crowd of the New York or Los Angeles theater it was taped at. And, considering that the DVD burn of the same bootleg can be purchased for 8 yuan, why would I pay 50 yuan for a bad Theater Experience. That would be like paying 50 bucks for a blowjob, only to have the hooker punch you in the nutsack every couple minutes. Sure, you got 2 hours worth of fellatio for your money, but you never shot off and your balls hurt for days. Some guys are into that, and would pay extra for it. I am not one of those guys.
I bring this up, because earlier today, I busted my slump. I finally got up the nerve to throw down the hard earned cash to gamble on the Chinese Theater Experience. Today, I saw Spider-Man 3 in the theater.
The gang and I had agreed, for a movie such as this that we had waited so long for, we had to see it on The Big Screen. We couldn't wait for the DVD rips, and we sure as shit weren't about to settle for the Jacket-Cams. This was Spider-Man for Dionysus' sake.
My impression was positive, for the most part. First of all, we had assigned seating and an usher showed us to our seats. The seats were very comfortable, and the overall decor of the theater was very similar to one or two that I had been to in the states. I would have considered that this may have been an american owned chain, but the abundant legroom told me otherwise.
The print of the movie was perfect. It was definitely direct from the studio. Whether it came directly from the studio legally is of no concern of mine.
The great drawback, as always, was the other people. The Chinese are worse than The Blacks in a movie theater. There was a constant, unending, unrelenting buzz of background conversation all around us throughout the entire movie. However, I discovered something amazing. When side conversation is in a language you don't understand, it is really easy to tune it out. I never missed a beat of the film because of it.
There was also a problem with the cellphone etiquette. And it wasn't like in the states, where you always have that one asshole who thinks he's so damn important that the long line of signs, audio recordings, and short movies they show that all offer up the same "Turn Off Your Fucking Cell Phone" message are meant for everyone but him. No, in the Chinese crowd, it was pretty much everybody.
The theaters in China sport all the same signs and requests, but nobody seems to give a shit. The response to such requests are usually, "Make me, I dare you." Which, from what I have learned of Chinese psychology in my short time here, means they don't know how to turn off their cell phones.
And for those of you currently thinking to yourselves "What an asshole! How dare he accuse an entire race of people of being too stupid to know how to turn off a cell phone, and too arrogant to admit it!" You obviously have never set foot in China, so I'd stop now before you accidentally say something out loud.
TTFN
