posted by JonTheDoc at 3:02 PM
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This is becoming a problem. It happened only twice when I was living in the States. But here in China, it's become such a problem that I'm thinking of putting in an application to the Racism Tribunal to have "wear padded bras" added to the official list of Degrading Chinese Stereotypes (right between "bad drivers" and "always yell when they talk").

Being a lifelong tit-lover (and when I say "life long" I mean "ever since I saw my first naked woman on late-night cable at the age of seven"), I am finding a serious lack of earthbound embodiments of Erato here in China. The women here are just generally built smaller. It's not that I don't find any of them attractive. It's just that they lack the "certain something" that really gets my attention.

So, when the occasion arises that my path crosses with a girl that seems to be a little more gifted than the rest, I am more than ecstatic.

And yet, 100% of the time so far, when the bra comes off...so does a vast majority of their charm.

I can handle a girl being small chested. It's not like I'm some sort of elitists or fetishist. I know that there's more to attraction and relationships than big tits. Hell, my love life is rather dependent on the hope that size doesn't matter.

It's the blatant deception that bothers me. If I were to walk around with a cucumber stuck down my pants, I would be an idiot to not expect some level of disdain from my love interest once I took my pants off for the first time. I mean, I get the idea of preening; accenting and flaunting your positive traits in order to attract a mate. But to blatantly mislead your prospective other in the early stages of courtship is a very bad sign of character, and does not bode well of the future.

This is an inevitable side-effect as Old China segues into New China. A culture of people where image is everything and substance is irrelevant, combined with the long standing Western practice of cultivating, exploiting, and profiting off the insecurities of the public, becomes a whole new animal where presenting a misleading self-image becomes not only accepted, but almost a necessity.

I was lucky enough to find a copy of a Chinese TV ad on YouTube that illustrates my point. I've seen this ad on TV here many times. In fact, in any given hour of program watching, you will see this this commercial no less than 4 times on any of the CCTV channels.




It makes little sense to me. I can understand the Standards of Beauty being under debate in parts of the world where there are many different races mixing about, resulting in a hodgepodge of genetic physicality. But, inversely, the idea of what someone finds attractive is just as diversified. I know guys that prefer smaller breasts, or don't give a damn about breasts at all and focus more on a woman's legs, and other such crazy-talk. So it seems to make sense that the question of "What Is Beautiful" would be under debate in places like America or Europe.

But, here in China, where the genetic melting pool is rather shallow by comparison, you'd think the idea of what is "beautiful" would be a bit more narrowly defined. Well, actually, you'd be correct in that. The Chinese Physical ideal is actually quite specific. The strange thing is, that ideal goes against Asian genetics.

Point of fact, I was told by one of my ex-girlfriends that she had actually undergone plastic surgery to shorten her eyelids, making her eyes wider and rounder...like a white person's. I come to find out, this is actually a very common procedure among those that can afford it. The Chinese Physical Ideal is to actually look Less Chinese.

For those of you that still think that China is the next Global Superpower...I can now say to you with confidence, "Shut The Fuck Up." They are now, and will forever be, our bitches.

TTFN

posted by JonTheDoc at 5:36 PM
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The best thing about those knuckleheads at Fark.com, is that they don't just regurgitate the news as it happens. They also bring back reports from the explorations of the world's bored and unmotivated net browsers. Often times offering up little nuggets of amusement that can be found hiding out in all manner of dark little virtual nooks and crannies.

Thanks to them, I was pointed in the direction of a collection of photographs of several temples in India, that sport elaborate carvings suggesting the people and royalty of Ancient India had an appreciation for the finer carnalities of life. They also, like me, really liked a good quality pair of tits.




Okay...I'm not so much into the donkey fucking thing. But, I'm still impressed by their social honesty.

It's one of those things that always strikes me as strange. When the highest class of an ancient race of very spiritual people are mature and forward thinking enough to embrace sexuality, why is it a modern and enlightened culture like ours feels the need to demonize our single most natural tendency next to eating and breathing.

These weren't even temples dedicated to ideas or gods of sexuality. They were temples for Shiva the Destroyer and Vishnu the Preserver. The depictions weren't meant to be icons of the deities in question. These were depictions of celebrations and appreciations of the very gift of life that the gods have blessed upon the people.

Where did we go wrong? When did sexuality go from a celebrated gift from the gods, to a shameful impulse that should be buried and denied.

I blame the catholics. The world has pretty much gone to hell since they came around.

TTFN

posted by JonTheDoc at 10:57 AM
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It seems to me that there is a rather chaotic and hard to quantify formula in how long it takes for a tragedy, crime, or otherwise unpleasant situation to become okay to make fun of.

Jokes about 9/11 are still few and far between, with the ones that are let out into the public are very carefully crafted so as not to suggest any possible character flaw in any of the people in the towers, or within a 250 mile radius of the towers for that matter.

I still get dirty looks whenever I express my toungue-in-cheek opinion that Kurt Cobain is better off dead.

For Christ's sake, there hasn't been a single mention of the cataclysmic fiscal raping that was "Trickle-Down Economics" since the day Reagan's Alzheimer's was made public.

And yet, the death's of such people as Steve Irwin, Fred Rogers, James Brown, Jim Henson, and other such icons of the Planetary Culture are almost immediately reacted to with satiracle giggles associated with their cause of death or post-mortem legacy.

I'm not saying it's wrong to make light of bad events. It's perfectly natural to cope with pain by trying to aleviate it's weight with some sort of exposure of it's absurdity. The question is, what makes it wrong to do so "too soon?" Why is making fun of James Brown okay already, but Reagan is still off limits? It's obviously nothing to do with quality of character. Sure, James Brown was a ultra-violent, drug-addled, bible-thumper, but he didn't kill nearly as many people as Reagan did.

A recent article in the Asian Sex Gazette is what brings this question to my mind today.

Some Hong Kong skin mag publishes pictures of a cute asian girl dressed (and undressed) in a Nazi uniform. Now, at first glance, I love it. I've always been a sucker for a woman in uniform. And I think Jack Nicholson put it best in A Few Good Men when he said "There's nothing greater than getting a blowjob from a superior officer."

Besides, as I've already pointed out before, I think racism is funny.



But, as one can expect (and as I'm sure the magazine's publishers also expected), there was outrage. Outrage I tell you.

It seems, 60 years and 2 full generations later, it is still not cool to make light of The Third Reich.

"Why not?" I ask. Do you really think we're doing history a favor by continuing to whisper about The Brownshirts like some sort of boogymen? These were a bunch of foolish, desperate, self-flagelating frat boys and their airheaded cheerleading girlfriends. Can you think of anyone more deserving of disregard?

The big argument is that making light of the Nazi's will cause a passive disregard of the millions of people they were resposible for torturing and killing. But we all know that isn't true. If it were, great masterpeices of satire the likes of Mel Brooks' The Producers, Russ Meyer's Up!, and The Kids In The Hall's Hitler ____'s A Donkey would never have been.

So, after rolling the question around in my head, I think think I've come up with the quanifying factor.

As always it's about money and power. It doesn't matter how many people might be offended or upset by what you have to say. What matters is whether or not somebody is making money or gaining power from people feeling or thinking in a direction that is counter to what you're expressing.

Making fun of Kurt Cobain or Elvis Presley is off limits because Record Companies and Estate Managers that are still making a killing off a product that has had no overhead costs for many years now. So long as people continue to regard them as demi-gods, the longer they can milk the dead cow.

9/11, The Holocaust, and Ronald Reagan are off limits because of the political gain that can be acheived by taking a righteous stance among the polarized extremists. (I would like to take this moment to apologize to the Holocaust Institute for associating them with The Republican Party. It was a low blow.)

As always, opinion is rarely shaped by those really beleive in what they are saying. Rather, they are shaped by those who have the most to gain from you agreeing with the opinion they express.

Mind you, I didn't do any real reaserch for this. I'm talking almost completely out my ass. But, it's been my experience that my ass is smarter than most people, and I can't be blamed for that.

posted by JonTheDoc at 9:50 AM
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